BE STILL

Jaret and Kirra were done school last week. They have enjoyed having a week off already while I have been working. In fact, yesterday, Terry took them camping for the first time ever. They are having an amazing time and I have a feeling this will be the start of something... At the very least, a tradition where Daddy takes them camping (teehee). Oh who knows? Maybe I will give it a try but the idea of a tent isn't as appealing to me as a hotel or cabin.

 

As I came home tonight, after finishing my last day of work for the school year, I felt mixed emotions. The past year has had it's challenges but through it all, I love my job and the team I work with. There have been hard days but I feel a genuine closeness with the people I work with and we have great families that are part of our school community. It was a long and busy week that ended with another long day to wrap things up. I felt genuinely blessed this week by my co-workers through their kind and encouraging words and tokens of appreciation. As I sat on the couch this evening, I realized a few things. I am not the type of person who can sit still for long as I was right away busy doing some straightening, organizing, cleaning, laundry...and I felt a little guilty for not doing a little more work. And that is when it hit me, the need to work.

This year I did try to take time away from work and did so most weekends. However, keeping the Sabbath proved to be a little challenging because if it wasn't school work, it was work around the house. As I sat in the quiet, I tried to just BE STILL. It was difficult to do so and truly brought a wave of emotion over me. I realized that I constantly fill my time being busy. I am a workaholic who sometimes has a hard time drawing boundaries around myself. I always put more and more expectation on myself. Now, I realize this shouldn't come as a shock to me as Terry has said it for years and I respond back that he is just as bad. It is so easy to get caught up in how busy life is. And to pour ourselves too much into our work as a means to fill a void or bring a sense of worth.

I love the version of Be Still And Know That I Am God but Rebecca St. James. It wasn't available online so instead I am sharing Amy Grant's version. Hope you can sit back and Be Still...

This evening as I reflected, I realize that I had a sense of sadness that the school year was over because I felt a little lost without the long to do list. Don't get me wrong, there is a to do list of things I would like to get accomplished at home over the summer. And there is a to do list of things I would like to get done for work before starting a new school year. However, something else that I need to make a priority is the time to be still and devote myself to His will and direction. I also plan to have a date with each of my children to have a 'How Am I Doing?' conversation and to make some plans for spending quality time together over the summer (perhaps more on that in another blog post). I am looking forward to those dates and to the quality time with my family. I am looking forward to being still. I am looking forward to being reflective. I am looking forward to becoming less anxious as I become all-suffient on Christ. I know that I can't fill my heart cravings with things of this world but that only Christ in all His holiness can satisfy.

I choose to embrace summer.
I choose to embrace the quiet time.
I choose to just BE STILL.

"For when I am weak, then I am strong." ~2 Corinthians 12:10