The Day She Rushed Away

I love the feel of holding their hands.  I love feeling Kirra's hand in my hand.  I love the feeling of Jaret's hand in my hand.  The other day as I was walking into school when Jaret took my hand.  Then Kirra took my other hand.  As I stopped to just enjoy the moment, I thought about how big their hands have gotten.  Jaret saw a picture pop up on our computer the other day of his hand. He said, "Look Mom!  My hand was so small and now look at it," as he held his hand up to the picture on the screen.  Yes, my boy, please don't remind mom every day how you are growing and how the days drift away.  It brought tears to my eyes.

Last year, I remember so vividly when Jaret gently mentioned that he didn't want me to kiss him good-bye in the hallway at school or outside on the sidewalk before he went in his door and I walked in with Kirra.  My heart was a little crushed but he then said, I will still kiss you but just in the truck before we walk into school.  And to this day, I still get that kiss before we head into school each morning.  Although recently he has even let me kiss him while we go our separate ways at the front office - I think only because we get there early enough that no friends are around.  I am so grateful for how intentional Jaret is and how free he is with hugs, cuddles, and kisses.  Know that I am also being more intentional to just give him a fist bump or a little wink and smile when I see him in the hall so as to not embarrass him in front of his peers.

Kirra and I walk into school together and down the same hallway.  And even though she getting bigger, she still likes when I can start the day off with walking her down to Before School Care rather than let her go on her own.  There have been a couple mornings I have needed to get to a meeting and yet she has still insisted that I walk her down.  And I do but sometimes have thought, 'Really Sweetie?  You are getting big enough that you can walk down to the room on your own.'  However, when I reflect on it, why would I rush this?  What is truly more important than cherishing these moments?

This morning, I dropped the kids at school and took my day off (well, half a day anyway - elementary teachers are coming over this afternoon for a staff get together).  As I did, I used the drop-off zone that I have used a time or two.  The kids are always good with saying 'good-bye' and 'I love you' before they give me a kiss and jump out of the vehicle.  This morning should have been no different right?  Jaret gave me air kisses and before he jumped out but not Kirra.  She was so excited to jump out of the truck to see a friend that she didn't even say good-bye or if she did, it was really rushed as she was saying, "Hurry, Jaret!  There's Hailey.  I want to see Hailey."  And she rushed away to go and begin her day.  As I drove away, I got teary.  It was just one more reminder that they are both growing up so quickly, right in front of my eyes.  I am so grateful for that and feel blessed but the emotional and sentimental side of me just wants to stop time.  Jaret and Kirra, know that even though there are days you will rush away, I love you with all that I am and I will always be here for you to rush back to...with arms open wide!