There are times in my life that I have been so burned out that I was left feeling empty. It is times like this that I have lacked balance in my life and that I have allowed myself to let go of what should be the priorities in my life. I have let the to do lists take over, rather than narrowing my focus on those I love and by spending time in prayer and devotion. Without my focus being on my relationship in Christ and spending time with loved ones, what does anything else matter?
Relationships truly matter and our relationship in Christ matters. We need to let God fill our empty places. Because truly, nothing else in life will fill the emptiness like he can. We can look to others, for their approval and admiration, we can look to possessions, we can look to habits (positive or negative), but none of this will satisfy us like God will and as God can.
Returning to the seminar I was at recently, a point was brought up about being empathetic and inquiring rather than critical and advising. I think it is easy for us to give advice and sometimes when we give that advice we may be critical or judgmental of another. It is important to listen and seek to understand so that we can and we can help others, move from where they are today to who they want to be and where they want to be. This won't happen in our relationships with others if we are judging or being critical.
An analogy that Judy Reige used was living Above or Below the Line. The line is our choice. Living below the line is living life as a victim. I am sure we can all admit that we have lived below the line in our life. This doesn't help us move forward in life though. We get stuck in a rut of blame, excuses, and denial. The feeling that is behind this is that of fear. We have lots of reasons why we are where we are and why we can't get out. But there is good news, if you want to take control and get out of the rut, you can. You can reframe your thinking and take one small step to take responsibility and take control of your life again.
Living Above the Line is living a life of the victor. The acronym that is associated with this thinking is OAR - Ownership, Accountability, and Responsibility. Think of an oar used when in a canoe, it helps you to move forward with each stroke and you get where you want to go. Living this way, you are taking accountability for the life you lead.
Think about times you have lived below the line and times you have lived above the line. If you are living below the line today, what is one change you can make today to start to live above the line?
In life, we all have needs. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs states those needs.
Of course we need to have our physiological needs met, then we move up the pyramid to needs of safety, love and belonging (our sense of community that cares for us), esteem (feelings of accomplishment), and self-actualization (being the best we can be and living the life God intended for us). We need to re-evaluate the needs we have and how they are being met. What is our vision for our life and how can we live today to achieve that vision? Three basic questions always remain at the back of our minds in life:
Do I matter? - Place/purpose in life
Do you love me?- Love/belonging in life
What if I can't? - Feelings of fear and inadequacy
In our relationships, how much better would things be if we allowed people to understand our thoughts/feelings and the intentions behind our behaviour? Wouldn't our loved ones then know that they do matter, they are loved, and that we are here to walk alongside them and help them know that they can because they don't have to face it alone?
Be a coffee bean in life and in the difficult circumstances that come your way. Live your life above the line. Those logical, math minded people may understand it phrased this way:
(DxV) + FS > R = C
My Dissatisfaction multiplied by my Vision plus my First Steps I am going to take are greater than my Resitance and all this equals a Change in my life.
If you could see your life a month from now, three months, six months, a year from now, what does it look like? Have hope and faith that with implementing some first steps, you can overcome fear and get back to the life you want for yourself.
"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." ~Ephesians 3:16-19
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