To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you
To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you
To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you
To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you
To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.
To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you
To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you
To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you
To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you
To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience
To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst
To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children – we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be
To those who step-parent – we walk with you on these complex paths
To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren -yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you
To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you
To those who placed children up for adoption — we commend you for your selflessness and remember how you hold that child in your heart
And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising – we anticipate with you
this Mother’s Day, we walk with you.
Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst.
We remember you.
Those words speak volumes about the difference women make in one another's lives. It also touches on the struggles and the joys we face as women who want to be moms or are moms on different levels. It makes my heart grieve when I think of the women who so desire to be moms and yet can't be or for women who have lost knowing how deep the pain of that loss reaches.
Devotions from Girlfriends in God this week focused on Mother's Day and I appreciated some of the great advice that was shared in, "Being a Mom that Matters." Mary Sutherland opens by stating that being a mom is a holy calling from God and that God never calls us without giving us the power and the plan to do that job successfully. Reading that brought a sigh of relief to my lips as I held on to that truth. Aren't there days as a mom that you just wonder, "Am I doing anything right?" On the flip side, we then have those days were things are going smoothly and we feel like we are being successful at the job of mothering. Sutherland outlines ways in which we can be a mom that matters:
-Love God - we need to experience God's unconditional love in our lives before we can provide that for our children.
-Pray continually - for God's plan in raising your children, to see your children as God sees them, and to pray specific verses over your children. Praying for them and with them provides growth in our relationship with Christ and with our children while at the same time allows us to lead by example.
-Give time - every minute invested in our children is an eternal investment and we need to give our kids the best of us, not just the leftovers. This has often come to the forefront in my mind over the years as I learn over and over again the importance of putting other things aside so that I can just be, completely be with my children.
-Laugh often - something I sometimes forget to do when life gets busy. But, the feeling of letting go and laughing with my children is always good for my soul.
"A happy heart is like good medicine, but a broken spirit drains your strength." ~Proverbs 17:22
-Hug a lot - never have issues with hugs, yet. Jaret came out from school the other day and found me sitting on the bench watching Kirra play. I hugged him before he went to play for a few minutes with friends. A lady sitting nearby reminded me how lucky I was that my son liked getting hugs and shared that her son in Grade 5 has been past that stage for years. I treasure the cuddles, snuggles, hugs, and kisses I get from my children and I give the regularly.
-Dare to Discipline - it is important to pick your battles and have emotions in check when disciplining. Setting boundaries is a tough job of being a parent but is what makes you a parent and not just a friend. Discipline can be done firmly but with love.
-Forgive quickly - we teach our children how to forgive by how we forgive. Not long ago I read an article by Michelle Borba on teaching our children how to apologize. Reflect on what you did wrong, find the best time and place to apologize, say what you did followed by saying you are sorry, say how you will do things differently in the future (validating their feelings), and ask forgiveness while realizing that the relationship may need time to heal. A sincere apology is something that needs to be modelled and an important aspect of reinforcing compassion and responsibility in our children. Borba is an expert author on teaching moral intelligence in our children to help them grow in character.
"Get along with each other, and forgive each other." ~Colossians 3:13
Being a Mom is definitely not an easy job, especially some days. I would like to say that today was a most wonderful Mother's Day but it had it's share of challenges in the parenting department that really took away from what is to be special about a day like today. When I reflected on that though, I had to laugh (so I didn't cry) and realize that this is just every day life with young children. Jaret is old enough that he understands the importance of special days and how to make someone feel special on a day like today. In fact, this evening he asked if I would like to play a game or go for a walk. Since it was cold I said that playing a game with him sounded like fun. He immediately agreed and said, "Well, that is just fine with me because today is your day." What a gentleman. He was even a gentleman as I beat him tonight at Battleship and Monopoly Jr. and told me that he would be practicing to beat me the next time we played together. So cute. And then there was Kirra... when it came time to bedtime, there was fighting complete with crying and yelling and screaming that really doesn't make the day end on a special note. In fact, she also through a tantrum similar to this earlier today so it really was a most challenging day with her. Thankfully each day begins anew!
The day wasn't a complete disappointment as I was able to spend the day with my family which is what really counts. We were able to meet Terry's parents at The Berry Barn for a nice meal together to celebrate Mother's Day.
I am blessed to be a mother and I love the moments with my kids - moreso when they are behaving, of course. But by being a mom, in the good and the bad, I grow and learn and feel blessed by that gift. I am also blessed by my own Mom who has been a source of love, strength, and encouragement for me over the years and is an amazing woman. I love you, Mom! I am grateful for my mother-in-law who loves me and has accepted me as her own. I am grateful for my grandmothers that have shown much love to me over the years and continue to be a part of my life and my children's lives. And to the many women who have mentored me during various seasons of my life and to my girlfriends who are shining examples in my life - I salute all of you! I am grateful for each of you and the lessons you have helped me learn. Happy Mother's Day!
"Train children how to live right, and when they are old, they will not depart from it."
~Proverbs 22:6
"Children are a gift from the Lord, they are a reward from Him."
~Psalm 127:3 (NLT)
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