Niequist's book is a love story in which she shares her journey. She was done with living a frantic and exhaustive life and wanted more for her life. She longed to live her life with greater meaning, connection, and a slower pace of life in which she could be completely present. A life that is more about grace, peace, and simplicity than it is about achieving through always living a chaotic and busy life. She desired a more soulful way of living and her book shares that journey as a means of helping others who read it.
Below are some of the highlights that spoke to me and helped guide me to want to make some changes in my life:
1. Busy, Busy, Busy
We live in a society today where everyone seems to be busy running from activity to activity, being overcommitted, and where busyness is glorified. I have lived this at numerous different stages in my life. It becomes a way of life for us and becomes all we know - it becomes normal. We don't know any different until we either are so exhausted that we can't physically and emotionally live like that anymore or we stop long enough that we realize the merry-go-round is spinning out of control and we decide to put a stop at it.
I have always been a doer. I like having lists that I check things off because it makes me feel productive. Like what I am doing counts. But I have learned, and continue to learn almost daily, that who I am and my worth isn't measured by my productivity but only in my relationship with Jesus Christ.
One of the chapters spoke about putting up more chairs in reference to a pastor building a large church - intentionally and strategically. And the point was how in today's society we build bigger thinking that bigger is better, but we learn that sometimes it isn't and sometimes we need to take down some chairs and simplify life. This relates to everyday life and the time we spend on the things that really matter. Being present to spend time being with those that we love rather than always doing and doing more. Sometimes and mostly, it is okay to just slow down and do nothing except just spend time together. We learn to let go of the question of, "What are you going to do?" We start taking responsibility for how we are going to spend out time.
2. Rest
We think that we are strong and sufficient and therefore don't need to stop and rest. That rest is for the weak. However, God commands that we stop to rest and keep the Sabbath day holy. Jesus took this time away from people so that he could BE STILL and spend time with the Father. So why in our society do we ignore this? I have been guilty of this too many times to count. Niequist questions whether we are relying on our own ability or trusting God in all things. This hit home because we buy into the lie that this and this and this all need to get done and I need to be the one to do it. When what we really need is to take the time to rest and focus on our reliance where it needs to be - not on productivity but on our relationship with God. Many people have reminded me countless times in the past that I needed to slow down and take this time to rest but I haven't always listened to their wisdom.
3. Boundaries
"When you devote yourself to being known as the most responsible person anyone knows, more and more people call on you to be that highly responsible person." I was feeling this to the point that I was doing for everyone else at work that it left no time for me and every little for my family. And what was left for my family was the exhausted me. This way of life with more and more responsibility and the inability to say no was not bringing happiness and was having a significant impact on me and my family. Things needed to change - and I was grateful for summer to allow the time to reflect on how that change needed to happen. I was a little frustrated with myself over even having to reflect on this because the question I kept asking myself was, "Haven't I learned this lesson a thousand times before?"
Don't get me wrong, I love my job! But even though I love my job, sometimes it is really hard to turn it off at the end of the day. This is something I struggle with and need to continue to work on as I put boundaries on what I can and cannot do. And to constantly relearn that I don't have to own everything. I know that I often put these expectations more on myself than others do.
4. Saying No
Again, I have learned this lesson over a thousand times as well. UGH! But every time I say no or slow down to take the time to rest, I felt guilty. Niequist speaks about NO being the word that changed everything.
"If you're not careful with your yeses, you start to say no to some very important things without even realizing it." She goes on to say that in saying yes she, "said no, without intending to, to rest, to peace, to groundedness, to listening, to deep and slow connection, built over years instead of moments."
When I read this, it was a wake-up call for me. I had never thought of it from this perspective and yet it made total sense. Saying no means that we can say yes to other things that we otherwise may have missed out on. And one thing I don't want to miss out on is how short the moments are with my children. As I see so many friends who's kids are at a stage of starting university and stepping into a new journey, my heart cries for how soon that will happen for me and so I want to enjoy all the time I can with my family. We decide how we want to live life and how we want to spend our time. Fall is the perfect time to look at my calendar and decide how I spend my time and what will get my priorities. What will I say no to so that I can say yes to something else? I think we go through so many seasons where we need to revisit this and God continues to refine us in each season we walk through. There will be lots of learning to do on this end needed and I will have help through the next book I am reading. But I will leave that for another post...
5. Disappointing Others
All my life I have been invested in what other people think of me and have lived life pleasing others. For me, guilt comes in disappointing people. When I reflect on this, I often find that in pleasing people I often disappoint myself. Learning the lesson of choosing what I want my life to look like rather than allowing others to dictate what it should look like. There is freedom in letting go of the expectations that others have for me. I am an imperfect person who will not live up to the expectations others have of me. I know that I need to live in the deep sense of God's unconditional love for me, His grace, and His purpose for my life. Remembering that my worth is always rooted in Christ and not in pleasing others or living my life worrying about what others think. After that focus, my priority needs to be on the relationships closest to me - the inner circle of my life. And to focus on time with them and disappointing them as little as possible. What God thinks of me is more important than what others think of me.
6. Lake Life
Niequist speaks about how this story begins and ends on the water and the spiritual image that is for us as Christians. Lake life is different because it isn't home. It's away and that aspect of being away allows us to see things more clearly as time at the lake is more relaxed and we leave behind the hustle and bustle of life. While in the Shuswaps this summer, I felt like I never wanted to leave (well, except for the smoke). The relaxed life of lake life is something I enjoy. However, I know that it would look different if the lake was home. We can learn lessons from life at the lake (deeper lessons than having the SeaDoo key attached to our life jacket or keeping my iPhone off the dock).
"I do want the way of living that I've tasted here (at the lake) to inform and ground how I live everywhere, all year long. The lake gives me something to aspire to - a reminder, a rhythm, a pattern. Simple, connected to God and his world and people, uncomplicated by lots of stuff."
Life at the lake or on holidays like our trips to Maui is uncomplicated and relaxed. It is time for family. It means not living by an agenda and living more in the moment as we build memories. It means finding joy in the time together as we take time to appreciate the scenery around us. Far to often when we get busy in day to day life, we don't stop to appreciate the little things that bring joy - a sunrise, the smell of fresh cut grass, the turning of the leaves, the falling of snow as we warm by the fire. But when on holidays, we stop more often to thank God for all of these things and that needs to become priority all year round.
7. I Get To Choose My Legacy
How do I want to be known? What do I want to be remembered for? Often we get caught up in our life and we continue on the path without stopping to reflect on the why that will determine our steps. We know the how and what behind living life and we can do that well, but we don't stop to think about the bigger picture and the why behind your life.
I want to be known for a woman who loved God. A woman of prayer. A woman after God's heart. woman who was a devoted Christ-follower. A woman who looked after herself so that she could love and serve others. A woman who was imperfect and who made mistakes but when she fell she picked herself up again, dusted herself off, and holding her head high, set about to live life fully. Living a life of loving others with a heart full of gratitude. When I look at the why, it truly makes me reassess the what and the how of life.
The long weekend is upon us. I enjoyed a little more sleep this morning followed by a run and some quiet time. It wasn't until 1ish that I began getting ready for the day and I was okay with that. Although Jaret came into my room and questioned why I was getting ready so late in the day. It made me smile as I explained to him that it is the long weekend and I am just slowing down the pace of how busy life is and enjoying not having to be on a schedule. I think lessons like this are so important for our children and I hope that I can continue to teach them in how to live life fully for the glory of God in modelling for them and helping them understand the why.
The weather is still beautiful and I enjoyed the afternoon lounging on the deck playing music (mostly Kristene DiMarco) while I wrote this blog post. The kids played on the trampoline and in the yard. And my heart felt contentment and I was reminded that these are the moments that make it all worth while, even if there were a few disputes they needed to work through. And as I learn to live life present over perfect, it is well with my soul. How is your soul?
No comments:
Post a Comment