Simplified living is about more than doing less - it is about being who God called us to be with a wholehearted, single-minded focus. Bill Hybels goes on to reflect that it is a lifestyle that when our head hits the pillow at night, we reflect with gratitude that our day was well invested and responsibilities of our life are in order. It requires uncluttering your soul. Does that seem impossible where you are right now? It did for me and that is why I kind of had to laugh as I shared with my mom about the excitement I had over this book. And yet the struggle I had over when will I be able to even get to chapter two.
Hybels states that the antidote to all the busyness of life is to simply sit down for an uncrushed conversation with Jesus. And true to God's timing, I just did a devotion on that today entitled, "Unrush Me," by Lysa Terkeurst. So excuse me while I digress for a moment. The devotion begins with words from Exodus when Jethro, Moses' father-in-law, is telling him that his work is to heavy and that he cannot handle it alone. Jethro was not afraid to evaluate and honestly address issues. But furthermore, he didn't just critique, he also offered solutions. Moses had reached a point in his ministry where he couldn't do it all. How many of us have been there? Our work becomes our life and we think we can do it on our own - by our own strength. Jethro steps in here to help Moses unrush a season of his life. UNRUSH! What does this look like to you? What do you see when you think of unrush? I hope that a sense of peace fills you.
Lysa Terkeurst goes on to quote Exodus 18:24, "Moses listed to his father-in-law and did everything he said." I don't know about you, but I know many people who would not take so kindly to their father-in-law telling them what they should do. And yet, Moses listened and did everything that Jethro told him to do. Obviously, Moses and Jethro had relationship. Moses thought highly of his father-in-law and perhaps he had been given wise advice from him in the past. Moses was able to take wisdom from Jethro and didn't take his advice as criticism. Terkeurst goes on to say that you need to do what you need to do to protect and strengthen the fabric of your relationships. And it is okay to accept help - some of us have a harder time with that than others. She also states that it is good to divide up responsibilities to help reduce your task list - make your burden light. All of this will enable you to give extra time and attention where it is needed - on relationships. I have come to learn this time and time again - that so much of life comes down to relationships. We must treasure the positive relationships we have in life and give them the time and attention necessary.
Now that I have been sidetracked from Chapter One of simplified...back to it...
But in all honesty, I haven't strayed too far. Relationship. Hybels speaks of relationship and the importance of relationships in your life. When you decide you don't want to live on empty, you start paying more attention to protecting and replenishing your energy reserves and priorities in your life. And often when you ask yourself, "How defeated am I? When was the last time I felt fully replenished?" It may come back to time spent in relationship. Perhaps relationship with Jesus. Hybels uses the example of Martha and Mary from Luke 10. The story is one Kirra and I read only a few nights ago. Martha and Mary have Jesus come to visit and Martha is busy in the kitchen with all the preparations while Mary is in the other room, sitting at the feet of Jesus, learning from him, spending time with him. This gets Martha upset as she is so busy and feels that Mary should be in the kitchen helping her. I love how Kirra gets this story and starts telling it to me even before we are finished. And then Jesus speaks to Martha and helps her to see that she is overreacting; that she should not be so full of resentment or so easily irritated but that Mary is choosing what is better in spending time in relationship. That speaks volumes as Martha is held accountable for her resentful attitude. Ouch! Jethro holding Moses accountable in his ways and now Jesus holding Martha accountable in his ways. I am reminded that in such moments, we need to hold each other accountable as it helps us to grow the way we ought to in our relationship with Christ, all the while, keeping us humble and focused.
Hybels goes on to talk about full-bucket living. This is beyond having a bucket-list of things you want to accomplish in life. It is about the everyday. He states that when we are depleted, when our bucket is empty (ex. being overworked), we feel resentment easier and the irritation comes quicker. We are easily thrown off and scattered. I can completely relate to that. There are times when I know I am not looking after myself that I find it so easy to start my own party - you know the type - the pity party. It is at moments like this that I need good friends to remind me gently and hold me accountable for my poor behaviour. Friends who remind me to fill my bucket by taking time to replenish. What fills your bucket? What replenishes your energy reserves when they are running on empty? It is key to know what replenishes your energy stores so that when they are nearing empty, you can formulate a plan to patch the holes and begin to fill your reserves, to understand what had you so depleted in the first place. I have been told many times that you need to look after yourself because if you don't, you will have nothing to give anyone else. When you take the time to look after yourself and replenish yourself, it is a vital gift of living the one an only life you have been blessed with. You need to prioritize and protect your replenishment streams so that you can look after yourself. This is no one's responsibility but your own.
According to Hybels there are five keys to replenishment:
1. Connecting with God - when you fully connect with God, you are less concerned about what other's think of you, how the world perceives you, and more focused on God's plan for your life and how he views you. This is as simple as Max Lucado's story of the Wemmicks from his book, "You are Special." I have blogged about it before but if you haven't read this children's book, it is one of my favourites and it's message isn't lost on adults.
Hybel's challenges us that if we aren't already doing it, to find a spot in your home that you can spend 15 minutes a day in reading his word, devotion, and prayer time. Some days as a young, working mom, this uninterrupted time can be a challenge on it's own.
2. Family - deep connection can pour such replenishment into your bucket as you build on relationship and build into one another. I know for me that is so true. At the end of each night when I tuck Jaret and Kirra, it is often the highlight of my day that I share with them. It is such a gift to have the blessing of them in my life.
3. Satisfying Work - I absolutely love my job - most days. And even when some days are difficult, I believe in what I am doing and the people I get to do life with each day. I have to share a little story of what makes my job worth it. A couple of weeks ago, I was having a really tough week. But then some perspective, I woke one morning to realize it was the one year anniversary of my friend Pam's mother's death. A much more trying day for her. I messaged her a Bible verse to let her know she was in my prayers. I went about my day and attended chapel. I love that I can worship with our students at school. And I felt uplifted and encouraged that morning through our time of praise and worship together. Then I had a teacher approach me with a student who had not started the day off well and was being defiant. And I asked the Lord to help me because in first speaking to the boy, I knew that I was not going to reach him. I realized at this moment, that it wasn't by my strength but by His strength alone. So I asked this boy to help me put away some of the sound equipment and as we got busy working together, we walked to my office and I thought perhaps he would be ready to open up. He wasn't at first. All I was getting was that he had a bad start to the day and therefore he had come to school in a bad mood and thought it was his right to be disrespectful to others. At that moment, I shared my morning, and even the story of my friend who was facing a more difficult day than either of us. And I share the Bible verse with him that I had texted to my friend earlier.
I then asked him if I could write it out for him to take back to class. He said he would really like to write it out, and he proceeded to do so. I then prayed with him and he returned to class. About two hours later, I had another couple of Bible verses written out that I wanted to share with him. I went to his classroom to check in on him. His teacher appreciated the time I had spent with him that morning and said he was doing much better. I went and chatted with him and he responded, "I am having a great day and it is because of the Bible verse you shared with me today." And he thanked me. It brought tears to my eyes. As I gave him the two other verses I had written on stickies, I saw the Bible verse he wrote out right on the corner of his desk. I was so moved and so grateful for that moment. And to top it off, as I was sharing with his teacher at the end of the day, she told me the verse I gave him was the exact same verse that had been resonating in her heart that morning. Not all situations I face turn out so well but it is those moments that make me love my job.
4. Recreation - re-create energy and vitality so you will have more to give. We each have to have passions that we can spend our "extra time" on. Not that we have much extra time but it is important to carve out time for the things we really love. And when we find our passion we will feel invigorated.
5. Exercise - physical well-being can boost our energy and help us remain healthy. Make a commitment to good health by beginning to exercise regularly. Maybe you just need to start with tiny steps like walking 10-15 minutes a day. Perhaps you need to make it a social outing and have someone hold you accountable. Whatever it takes to get healthy - and include rest and good nutrition.
Hybels gives an action step at the end of the chapter where he asks you to draw a bucket on a piece of paper and do an honest assessment by drawing a line on the bucket of where you honestly see your energy level is right now. Then ask yourself, "Why have I let myself get this depleted? How can I get to where I need to be? Who am I trying to please?" If you know you are depleted, if you know what you need to do, if you know you are trying to please others, then it is time - time to make a change for the better. It is time to create a replenishment plan. Time to choose a couple of things that you can implement tomorrow and stick to for a week to start making a positive change.
I am sad to say that when I read this chapter three weeks ago, I wrote down a couple of things that I wanted to do to get on the right track and yet, I haven't been able to implement them. For me, that is a big wake up call. So, it is time to do something about it...join me! I am excited to read the other chapters and see what wisdom Billy Hybels has to share with me at this season of my life. I would love to hear your thoughts on simplify and how you think it might apply to you where you are at.
PS - Thanks for reading and please excuse me for going off track a few times in this blog post.
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