Reminders of loved ones who've passed away makes Christmas is difficult and overwhelming. Missing a loved one can make life seem meaningless and lacking joy. It can quickly change our plans for how we envisioned ourselves spending Christmas. In last night's church production and in a recent devotion, I was reminded that Christmas is about a change of plans in the heart. Joseph's life was drastically changed. He was betrothed to Mary when after returning from visiting her relatives, she surprises Joseph with news that she is pregnant. As Joseph plans to quietly divorce her so as to not disgrace her publicly. However, an angel of the Lord appears to him and tells him of God's plan to bring Jesus to us as the ultimate gift. At this point, he couldn't very well leave her and so the story as we know it continues on and God's plan was to bring a greatly needed change to all of us.
The life that Joseph dreamed of, a future of marital bliss, was turned upside down in a moment. It was customary in Old Testament times to have Mary stoned to death for her apparent infidelity. But Joseph did not want to pursue such a harsh action against Mary as he loved her deeply. Joseph must have felt the pain of knowing the child that Mary carried was not his own, and yet he showed grace. Joseph's journey took a far different course than he must have originally planned. Our journey on God's path will also have many twists and turns as we find ourselves hurting and question where God is in our situation. I find great comfort in knowing that God knows my circumstances, and that of my family who are experiencing one of the most difficult Christmas' we have ever had to face. And I am reminded that others have been where we are and find comfort in the empathy of those around who offer a hug or an encouraging word. God has not forsaken us despite our loss, in fact, he experienced the loss of his son, Jesus and can empathize with us. God has a plan, far beyond what we can see or understand this side of heaven and He is orchestrating everything that happens in life so that it will ultimately bring Him glory and illustrate His plan for you. It isn't our plan, it is God's plan. Just as Joseph discovered, we too discover that God's plan is different from our own.
At Christmas, our focus is often on the traditions we grew accustomed to but God's plan at Christmas was to give us the greatest gift ~ Himself. Jesus ~ He will save His people from their sins. Immanuel ~ God with us. Wonderful Counsellor. Lord of life, Lord of all. Prince of Peace. Mighty God. Holy One. All names we give to Jesus. We need to hold on to the truth of this gift at Christmas and throughout the year.
Joseph must have felt lost. Despite the angel telling Joseph that he and Mary were part of God's abundant and divine plan, he still felt troubled and knew that the next months and years would not be easy. Joseph needed to act on God's plan, and he did as he took Mary to be his wife. Joseph didn't know what the future held but he acted on what he knew at the moment and he followed God's plan for his life - full of the challenges and trials that were still to come. Faith in action. Joy despite life's difficult circumstances.
Rick Warren's Daily Hope Devotion was timely this week. The theme of his devotions were on joy and he states that the easiest thing to lose is your joy. There are many ways to lose your joy and many circumstances that will rob you of joy. We have a need for joy in our life. Without joy, our lives are overwhelming and we feel like we are sinking. Studies have shown that the more joy we have in our lives, the more productive we are. Philippians is four chapters long but in that book, Paul uses the word joy sixteen times. You might think that he was filled with joy and experiencing a perfect life. This couldn't be farther from the truth. He was in prison in Rome waiting to be executed when he wrote this book. These were dark days and yet he wrote so positively of how we ought to live our life. Rick Warren gives us acrostic for JOY:
J - Jettison all regrets to your past. Abandon, discard, eliminate anything that brings you down and robs you of joy in your life. Forget your regrets because God does - he chooses to forgive so we are instructed to let go of our past. "One thing I do is to forget what is behind me and do my best to reach what is ahead." ~Philippians 3:13
O - Omit all worries about your future. Today is a gift, that is why it is called the present. If you are going to enjoy today, omit worries about your future. Worry is one of the greatest killjoys. "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has don." ~Philippians 4:6
Y - Yield yourself to God's purpose. We all need a cause greater than ourselves for which we live. Living a life of joy comes from feeling like we have purpose in our life. Living for others brings joy. We need to stop living for ourselves as this does not bring joy. We need to get in line with God's purpose for our life and live the life for which we were created.
Rick Warren is a pastor with Saddleback Church, a large congregation in southern California. He hasn't had a perfect life. He and his wife experienced great loss. Their son, Matthew, struggled with mental illness most of his life and committed suicide just last year. Both Rick and his wife Kay, hold to the hope that God is with people during their times of trouble. They hold to the truth that we are all a broken people but one day, we are raised, and made whole again. "Then God will wipe away every tear from their eyes and there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things will pass away." ~Revelation 21:4 Rick believes that, "Our deepest life message often comes out of our deepest pain." God often uses pain to fulfill His purposes in our lives, this is evident throughout the Bible (Paul's example being one). Warren challenges those who have experienced loss to use our pain to draw closer to God and to others, rather than closing ourselves off from others. He encourages us to be more like Jesus who learned obedience through suffering. The best use of our pain is to reach out to others and to use our pain to help others. I find that there are times, when I least expect it, that my emotions take over. I have learned to be allow myself to be vulnerable. I am honest with myself and with others. It isn't easy to face the stages of grief. I would have been fine to not have experienced this kind of pain in life. And I definitely would not have wanted my sister to have to cope with such loss, pain, and grief.
We know that life doesn't make sense, but we can find peace and know peace because we can be sure that God is with us and loves us. We are broken people. We see brokenness all around us on earth but we can have joy in knowing that God has a greater plan. We know that life is not easy and there are many struggles and challenges we face. But despite this battle, we can have hope, faith, and joy knowing that this is not the end of the story and that there is more in store for us through eternal life. The Lord tells us that our life here on Earth is temporary. Our life here is a vapour that can be gone in a moment. But the life that follows this life is eternal, everlasting. "You are just a vapour that appears for a little while and then vanishes away." ~James 4 We have the Lord's promise in His Word that gives us hope that we will be with our loved ones again.
So this Christmas, as difficult as it will be, I will try hard to remember God's promises of love, hope, joy, knowing that He has a plan and part of that plan means that we will one day be reunited with our loved ones. So over Christmas, I will reflect on Ayden's life that was too short. Our family will light a candle for Ayden and say a prayer of remembrance. And we will celebrate with hope and joy, the birth of our Saviour.
A song I heard today that brought me to tears ~ Christmas Card by Stephen Curtis Chapman. Remember that you are loved and that at Christmas, love came down.
Merry Christmas to each and every one of you! Thank you for letting me share my heart with you. And thank you for being part of the journey with me. May 2015 bring an abundance of joy to you and your families.
Christmas 2013
We love you and miss you, Ayden
~ more than words can express!
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