Moving to a neighbourhood under construction, made this play time a little more challenging as we have no developed yard and construction trucks of all sorts on the roads in our community. This didn't stop us from letting our kids play outside though. We have a green space across the street with a pathway so we allowed our kids to play there, sometimes unsupervised but with some teaching as to looking both ways before crossing the road and staying together while playing. We also allow our kids to bike around the neighbourhood, mostly down the street to their friend's house. The other day, I was out on the driveway chatting with a neighbour. I recently met her and discovered that she has three children who we have not seen outside since we moved in. While talking to this lady, it became quite clear that we have different parenting styles regarding allowing our children the same freedoms. She made comment about how she can't believe that I let my kids play outside so much and sometimes unsupervised. Jaret was riding his bike as I was visiting with this neighbour and at that moment, he fell on his bike. Oiy! The neighbour was all upset and told him he shouldn't be riding his bike and that he rides too fast. I simply went over to Jaret to check on him. He was fine and was already getting up on his own. I turned to my neighbour, and let her know he was fine and that we all fall but need to learn to get back up again. I then wrapped up the conversation so I could go inside and get supper going. However, I was feeling a little judged and it got me thinking about this article again.
Freedom in childhood is vanishing - a point made in the article. Do you see it? I remember my childhood where I would play with my sister and my friend, Kyla for hours on end. Sometimes we would be inside playing dress-up and other times we would be playing and playing at the playground and around the neighbourhood - not going inside until we were called for supper. Then after supper, we were back out again until it was bedtime. I remember playing beside Kyla's house where we had a "kitchen" of sorts set up where we would make mud pies. I remember pretending we were detectives and spy on our parents as we solved some made up problem. Sometimes, there were problems, sometimes we didn't get along and we learned to work through our differences and we moved on. Sometimes the problem was that we didn't want to stop playing when we got called in for the night. In junior high, I remember hanging out on my friend's farm where we had freedom to spend hours outside - on the quads and even canoeing - all unsupervised. Were there risks to us playing outside unsupervised? Sure there were. We could have been hurt as we fell out of one of the trees we were climbing. We could have been kidnapped but the realities of that are minimal and yet that is often a parent's biggest worries as to why they do not allow their children the freedom to play outside. The article quoted statics showing just how slight the percentage of abduction really is. And yet, I understand, it is still a fear and would be a parent's worst nightmare.
The question this article asks is, "How will your kid's remember their childhood?" When I think of this, I want my kids to experience some of what I experienced and I want to teach them how to be safe when they are playing outside unsupervised. I want to be proactive in teaching them how to play and how to solve problems. I want for them to experience play and use their creativity by playing outside rather than so much screen time. Recently, Jaret and Kirra were playing with their friend Abe outside in one of the empty lots across the street. They were collecting old pieces of plywood and 2x4's and began building a fort. Part of me was concerned about them getting hurt but then I was thankful for the fresh air they were getting, their creative imaginations at work, the exercise as they searched out more scraps of wood, and how well they were getting along together. And as they played outside, they weren't stuck inside in front of the tv. It made me smile thinking that this may be a memory of an outdoor adventure they remember as an adult. Will definitely have to snap a picture of this the next time they are hard at work. However, they will have to begin over as their fort has since been cleaned up by the workers in the area.
The second part to the article outlined dangers of kids who are trapped inside. Highlighting a couple:
-Children who are kept from playing outside are less physically active, less creative, more aggressive, and have worse concentration.
-Children with ADHD who spend time in nature concentrate, complete tasks, and follow directions better than their peers.
-Children who are trapped inside miss out on basic rights of passage such as forming fun memories, making mistakes, and learning to be brave. They miss out on memory growth, problem solving skills, language skills, literacy skills and math proficiency.
Stranger Danger
Of course it is important to teach our children about Stranger Danger. We learned about it as kids and it is key to teach our children about this as well. We want to help our kids become street smart. Helping our kids become smart makes them less of a target for abduction. A kid with street smarts is a kid who:
-Can keep themselves safe from strangers when alone or with other kids.
-Knows how to stay safe when walking to school, riding the bus, hanging out on the playground, or riding their bike.
-Can navigate their way around new places and ask for help when stumped.
-Knows how to handle themselves in tough situations.
-Has the ability to "read" new people they meet.
-Can identify safe places in the neighbourhood and other places where they can go if there's trouble.
-Knows to avoid isolated spots that may pose danger
-Knows how to attract adults attention if there's a problem.
-Trusts their gut and acts on it, when needed.
*Above is according to Nemours Foundation research
It is important to teach our children basic safety rules such as wearing helmets and looking both ways before crossing the street. Make sure that your children know their full name, phone number, and address in case they need the information. Model for your children - when you are out in the neighbourhood and at the park, teach them and model safety for them. Teach your kids about people they don't know yet and teach them to seek out proper adult attention. Kirra is outgoing and so this has been key to teach her that she can't just start talking to every single person she sees and she can't just seek out attention from everyone she sees. Teaching her this without putting fear in her has helped her learn to be safer which helps ease my mind as a mom.
The last part of the article is about relaxing so that your kids can run free. It covers starting slow and having check-ins in place where they come and let you know where they are and what they are doing so you have peace of mind. This is not to happen every ten minutes though or you defeat the purpose of allowing your kids freedom. You can also start off by being there and having another adult/parent on board. As you get more comfortable with this freedom, you can take bigger risks. Recently, I met a friend at the park with her kids. We enjoy the time to visit with each other and it allows our kids to feel safe with us nearby but also gives them the space to climb, be creative in their play, and lots of space to run around and not have us right within arms reach.
What are your thoughts? What kind of childhood do you want your children to remember?
Kids one summer evening in the green space across from our house. They had been playing some soccer and didn't want to come in when we said it was time for bed. Love summer nights like that.
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