After the Boxes Are Unpacked

Last year was a difficult year, job wise.  Although I was working only half-time, my job was more than full-time and I allowed it to completely consume me.  I would work every morning at the school and some days full days with Kirra at the day home.  Each evening, once the kids were in bed, I would work late into the night.  During the afternoons when Kirra had pre-school, I would drop her off and head to the local Starbucks to open my laptop and work away for the two hours I had before picking her up from pre-school.  Those afternoons were actually very productive, since I had no interruptions.  However, I remember looking longingly at women who would come into Starbucks for a drink and sit with an open book.  Imagine, the leisure and simply being able to enjoy an afternoon...well, my time has come.  This past Tuesday, I dropped Kirra at pre-school and after a trip to Costco, I stopped at Starbucks.  I ordered my drink, found a comfy chair by the window with the sun shining in, and opened my book.  Ahhh...

The book that I am reading right now was a gift from my friend Colette.  The title is, "After the Boxes Are Unpacked" by Susan Miller.  I am enjoying the book even though I am just starting the fifth chapter.  From the opening chapter, I knew that with this move, I was not alone and that others have experienced the same thing I am currently experiencing.  The first chapter opens up with the author describing one of her many moves, saying goodbye to some dear friends, with tears streaming down her face.  And yes, as I read this I empathized and had tears streaming down my face at the thought of the dear friends we had left behind in Calgary.  Miller describes the journey of healing that moving has you go through that has three steps - let go, start over, and move ahead.  In letting go - God mends me.  In starting over - God molds me.  And in moving ahead - God matures me.

"Now to Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory!"  ~ Ephesians 3:20-21

With this move, I didn't think it would be so difficult since we had lived in Saskatoon and it was once home for us.  However, it hadn't been home for us in over eight years and our kids didn't know this as home.  I also thought that with Jaret attending SCS, that it would feel like home.  However, it has changed in eight years and all the students and families I knew and taught, are now in high school and beyond.  So walking those halls seems quite foreign since I don't know the families and I am not teaching so I am not a part of the staff.  Even driving to the school has me seeing different faces each day and makes me miss all that is familiar in Calgary.

Chapter Two is entitled Leaving Behind and takes about the stages of grief that we go through when we move.  Grief of leaving behind all that is familiar and all that we know.  Miller talks about how we go through so many emotions and how difficult it can be as our roots are pulled up and we begin to put down new roots.

"Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past.  Behold, I will do something new.  Now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it?  I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert."  ~Isaiah 43:18-19

This verse speaks to me about not dwelling on the past but looking toward a future and making your life where you are right now.  Some e-mailing with Pastor Ian, at Foothills Alliance Church, in the last couple of weeks was enlightening and spoke to this.  He reminded us of Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans that I have for you...to give you a future and a hope."  He also said that while you live there, be all there.  I thought that was good advice.  Not really easy advice, since it is easy to miss what is left behind and long for the life we had.

Chapter Three talks about cherishing and not clinging to your life.  Miller reminds us that holding on keeps us from benefiting from new blessings God has in store for us.  I am reminded that we need to cherish life, our family and friends, and memories.  I find this especially true when I hear of loved ones passing or becoming ill.  Life is short and we need to cherish our moments together but that we need to cling to God and our faith.  "I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances." ~Philippians 4:11  Isn't that sometimes easier said than done?

Moving Affective Disorder (MAD) is a term coined in the fourth chapter and talks about the overload factors of moving and the stress we experience from a move and what that can physically do to our bodies.  I think that the stress of the move has gotten to me as I have been battling a head cold all week that has even had me miss the my runs and time at the gym.  I think that my body's immune system has shut down and it waited until Jaret and Kirra were settled in school and we got all settled into our house.  Hopefully I will be on the mend soon.  The chapter goes on to talk about how we need to nest and look for the positives, not dwell on the negatives.  And that we need to understand that God doesn't always make life easy for us; that this is part of His plan and part of us growing closer to Him.  In Heart Talk, Miller give some good advice to deal with emotions - depend on God, remember to turn to God for He is with your wherever you go, and to let God be your strength - to encourage and uphold.

"Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous!  Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."  ~Joshua 1:9

At the end of each chapter, the author gives a survival kit to the reader of things to help us through the experience of moving.  orally these are very simple things that just remind us to slow down and take life one step at a time, one day at a time.  As you can tell, I am enjoying the support this book is giving me in our new transition and look forward to many more quiet mornings at Starbucks to enjoy reading a book.  Thanks Colette; such a thoughtful gift!  I will share more of the book as I get through it and as I continue this journey.  I am working to be all here though as I have joined a Women's Bible study on Wednesday mornings, I have joined a run group on Saturday mornings, and a gym where I am looking forward to getting a personal trainer.  The kids have settled in well to their classes and Terry into his job.

"The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you, He will never leave nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged."  ~Deuteronomy 31:8